Chapter Eight: the longest chapter in the book. The end nears, or at least begins to near. Pre-nears. You’ll be forgiven for forgetting that on this blog one of our [my] many running [overbearingly repetitious] gags [gags] is to point out the fervor with which author Saori Kumi constantly points out Pokey’s weight. I don’t know if “Your mama’s so fat” jokes have been exported to Japan; if they haven’t, I know how I’d break the ice if we ever got to talking.
In any case, it’s all been building to this. Pokey was fatty-fat fat before, but now he’s really fat. Homebound fat. Exploitive TLC reality docudrama fat. This fat:
It no longer looked human. The body, which had gained more weight than it could handle, was layers upon layers of jiggly fat flooding outward—it looked like a cairn made of mochi. [ed. note: Yo' Mama Crew response: Daaaaaaayummm!!!] At such an enormous size no clothes could possibly fit, so two Miffy bath towels tied together sat around his waist, barely wrapped all the way around. Even a secluded fatty like this would normally be uneasy sitting stark naked.
But in his case, if he’d even had a sense of modesty in the first place he would have been conscious about ending up in such a state. He was mean and creepy. And on top of that, instead of scary, he looked completely ridiculous.
That’s right. This was the present appearance of the one and only Pokey Minch.
Question—Yes, you in the back, in the Pokey/FemmeGiegue t-shirt, which I was sure Fangamer had already discontinued.
Pokey/FemmeGiegue Fangirl: Why is Pokey so fat?? He’ll never be able to take FemmeGiegue to the beach, at this rate!
I’m glad you asked. You see—
Yo’ Mama Crew: Daaaaaaayummm!!!
You—you see, Pokey is evil, and gluttony is kind of representative of that, and if you’ll just put that down for a minute and let cooler heads prevail I’d be happy to quote this last line and leave you to your fanon devices. Now—now. I’m going to turn around to get the rest of this blockquote, and I trust you’ll not take advantage of my… my trust, here, all right?
“Master Giygas, huh?” Pokey sneered. He pushed his arms, which looked like a tower of donuts, against the floor and somehow alley-ooped himself to his feet.
Sitting neatly behind him was the golden statue.
“All these fools keep calling me that… Oh well. If they wanna call me that, I’ll let ‘em. Giygas probably means something in the multi-dimension, like “ruler” or “boss” or “president” or “god” or something.”
Itoi leaves the specific effects of the Mani Mani mostly to our imagination, as is his wont—the scheming it engenders comes through in the plot, but not the leading up to said schemes. Kumi steps once more into the breech to show how that might manifest itself in Pokey’s everyday life. Unsurprisingly, her choice is to make him super, super fat.