Throughout the book, interspersed with some truly goopy romantic sentiment, Kumi reminds us that Ness and Jeff are kids, and not yet cootie-inoculted, at that, who travel everywhere with a girl who kind of freaks them out. Exemplary passages:
All of the beds were so big they looked like pro wrestling rings. The room by the kitchen was decorated with relatively simple blue linens, but the one further back in the suite was something else. The bed cover was black velvet with pink satin embroidery, and was folded back to show off two big fluffy pillows with matching colors. Placed above those was a heart-shaped herbal pillow. The pink and golden flower-patterned bed curtain lined with lace reached the floor, and pillars shaped as half-naked maidens holding flowers up before their eyes supported the canopy. On the bedside night stand was a neatly folded silk nightgown. A silver-colored wine cooler sat thickly entwined in frost, a welcome basket was filled with a mountain of fruit and a bouquet of deep red roses stifled the air with a strong fragrance!
So, I guess this was the honeymoon suite, and this bed for the newlyweds. The boys turned a shade of red at the sight.
“Yaay, it’s gorgeous! I get this ooone! ♪” Paula, however, leaped onto the bed and, squealing with delight, rolled all around it. “Wow, it’s so fluffy! And it smells so good… ahhhh…… Hey, you two, you can relax, you know. Why don’t you have a seat?”
“Uh… nah, I’m fine.”
“I’m—gonna go check the emergency exits!”
Jeff walked over to the desk and examined the hotel guidebook. Ness grabbed the room key and left to go check the hotel’s emergency escape route.
Poor Ness, especially, is made to act like he will melt if he remains too long in the presence of something or someone that gives off a girly vibe. A girl rolling around on a honeymoon suite bed while singing and giggling? I’m giving him a pass here—I think I saw that in a particularly creepy Def Leppard video.
This is going on in Summers, at the Hercules Suite; to get the reservation, Paula committed fraud! After the jump: Paula committing fraud!
On we move to Summers, one of the funniest segments in the game proper. Saori Kumi begins her description of same by playing things a little straighter. Paint the picture, Kumi!
The sun shimmered and twisted as it sunk into the distant horizon. A red belt of sunset stretched along a straight line against the waves rippling into shore. Beautiful white sand, like granulated sugar, spilled across the luxurious beach resort.
Atop a small, gently rocking boat, beneath the shade of palm tree silhouettes in front of the blinding sun, a couple who had come from overseas was sitting on a warm beach mat, soaking in the season of love. They intertwined their arms, pressed their cheeks together, gazed into one another’s eyes, she twirled a lock of hair around a finger… There was also a pair of children engrossed in building a sand castle with their red bucket and yellow shovel.
The miseries of the world, the passing of time, what they would have for dinner tomorrow—everything was forgotten, replaced with the simple, fleeting act of glowing against the shine of a loved one. That is the sort of place this was.
Oh, but the couples. A couple here, another one there, and by them another couple and another couple. Nothing but couples. One every five yards along the coast with the dusk wind blowing. If there were ever a Couple Watching club in the world, they would undoubtedly grovel at this sanctuary, basking in their Mecca.
Beautiful! I’m still thrown off at every turn by Saori Kumi’s wild plot-driving, but I’m willing to guess, reading this travelogue, that something is about to ruin these couples’ collective day. Show me… onomatopoeia!
“Je t’aime, mon amour,” Alêne whispered to Pierre with a sensual voice that tickled at the ears.
“C’est magnifique, la vie en rose.” Louis and Leo softly lifted the chin of their lovers .
“Au chance liez, très bien .” Marie and Katorine batted their long eyelashes. “Chocolat au lait, pudding a la mode,” Francois and Chalut mumbled softly and sweetly. “Caramel bon-bon…”
Jean and Geneviève’s half-opened lips slowly approach one another’s. But then it happened.